The Trialss and tribulations of taking standarized test / GRE

hi I want to apologize for not writing in so long, I was studying for the GRE a test I am required to take in order to be accepted to graduate school. I received the min score needed to get in, but I will probably retake the test in the near future to get a better score which I will need to apply to PhD programs after I complete my masters!It's funny because I have a really high GPA and everyone thinks I am so smart but I am first not a math person and second do not do well on both cumulative or standardized test. Don't get me wrong I have never failed such a test but I do not excel in them,,I am not sure why that is..I study like crazy but I seem to forget a lot of the material when I get to the test. Its not testing anxiety because I excel in all other types of exams (except math I freeze, but again I don't fail, I just don't do as well as I would like) I wish someone was reading this and could give me some advice, but I don't blame people if they are not following my blog. A blog is truly a commitment and I am simply to busy to write every day;however, I will continue to write in hopes someday someone will read my struggles and triumphs and it will help them with their own! The good news as I am sober today and am approaching 4 yrs staying sober no matter life, now they should give out PhD's for that(LOL) sometimes staying sober is a daily battle and one must learn that only through constant introspection and change is the battle won. That"s why I love psychology and philosophy. Psychology strives to understand our behaviors and the thoughts involved in those behaviors through both observation and manipulation by experimentation and philosophy ponders all of life great questiond like why were we created and our purpose. Actually. psychology is a young field only a little over a century old, it branched off from the field of philosophy and many of the great psychologist we reference today were first philosophers. I am a thinker I always have been, I can't seem to stop myself from always thinking! Everyone tells me to stop thinking so much, but since I cant seem to do that I will go to graduate school get my masters in mental health counseling to help others think and behave in a healthy fashion and then I will get my PhD in psychology. PhD stands for a Doctor of Philosophy, so I will ultimately get paid for being a great thinker!!! I cant think of a better way to spend my life..Thinking and helping others think and behave in a healthy way so they may lead happy and productive lives. I am truly blessed! I believe to find something you love to do and also make a living at it is the only way to true happiness and will also be one of my steps when I start the centers for change in order to help both addicts and dually diagnosed clients. If you hate what you do for a living its hard to be happy or content or even feel any satisfaction or have any form of peace of mind. This discontentment with ones life, is in my opinion a recipe for drowning your sorrows with drugs and alcohol. as well as other unhealthy addictions. Therefore, this aspect of our life must be addressed and if necessary changed in order to lead a emotionally happy and stable life, free from addictions and vices of all types..Well more on that later... (don't get me started LOL!!) for now good nite my fellow bloggers God bless! Stay strong and strive to be the best you can be, you are worth it, if you can't believe that just yet, then believe that I believe in you!!! You can do it...just as this once broken addict is doing now! If I can change and succeed, I promise so can you, with a little help!! All the major hotlines (NA, AA ect...) are posted on my blog; so make a call , change your present and your future TODAY!!! Its never to late...nite!!

A PERFECT MOMENT

As I watch her as she breaths in slumber, somehow it seems as if the elements are in synchrony and all is well in the world, if just for a moment...

Sometimes life is just plain hard!

WOW!! nobody ever said staying sober wouldn't be challenging at times. I have been so stressed out I really thought I was going to have a heart attack! I almost got evicted, due to back rent created by non payment of an old roommate. Yeah thanks for that old roomy you know who u r! Thank God my sister came through for me!I have been looking for employment but even minimum wage jobs ask for criminal history and background checks!! How does fraud or drug possession sound on a application?? And then there's some interesting colorful misdemeanors I'd rather forget. It really gets discouraging when 4 years go by you are a senior with a cumulative GPA of 3.715, a single mom struggling to be a good role model for her kids by changing my entire life and showing my girls that its never to late to change and follow your dreams and you can't even get a job at Mc Donalds, not that I want one there, but its hard!! I did get a part time tutoring position but they did a background check so waiting to be summoned. However I was honest from the start that's gotta count for something! School is great!! I love Cognition and my professor she is excellent!! I hope to someday model her teaching style. I truly love psychology and the inner functioning of the mind both unconscious and conscious process, I find it fascinating. I just think I am so blessed to find a career I truly love and have passion for and will never consider just work, its more like a devotion. I just pray I will find employment when the time comes and that my past mistakes won't impede my success. I refuse to believe3 it will in this great country of new beginnings and second chances there has to be hope for someone like me, if not in the United States of America then where? anything other than affirmative would be scary indeed!
No matter the struggle, its all about having faith and striving to continue the struggle one day at a time. Sometimes its difficult but their are a lot of good days and achievements are forthcoming. It's worth it!! Don't give up remember its all about staying sober no matter life and I'd like to add helping others!
God bless nite!