Hi again sorry it took me so long to write but well I was without internet for a few days and I was also studying for a test in Cognition which I aced by the way!! I only got one wrong out of 50 questions and that was because I did not read the question correctly. It was one of those tricky "cannot" question,! Where they ask which answer it cannot be. However all and all I was proud of my grade I work hard and its nice when it pays off! I hate it when I study and don't know what the test is asking. Like it is a foreign language!! Have you ever had that happen? You ask yourself whether you accidentally studied the wrong chapters or sometimes it feels like you must of studied the wrong subject. I feel that way about math! LOL Not a math person!
But seriously if I really think about it I am blessed to have those kind of problems today!
It was not long ago that my problems were more basic like how I was going to bathe that day, or where I was going to sleep. Sleeping was not a everyday occasion I remember I once went 10 days without sleeping! Seriously 10 days!! That way the LONGEST time I ever went without sleep and I was delirious! I used to love that feeling like I was floating on a cloud and nothing could touch me. Of course it was just an illusion as was most of my existence at the time. Sound familiar?? Do you feel like you are caught in this existence and there is no way out? You are wrong! It not easy but its doable...I promise! Take that first step make a call, ask for help! And then TAKE IT!! that is the toughest part actually taking the help offered it involves change and although we know that it is no way of living, change is scary and difficult and the familiar is easy. However if you do suck it up and take a leap of faith I promise you someday you could be worried about the grades on a test! Or your bills or which party to go to (yes recovering people do go to party we just don't drink!)We face life on life's terms and learn to enjoy the simple stuff or at least I have. I mean going to the beach with my 5 year old daughter, or spending the day with my older daughter and her boyfriend at the pool. Those are the moment I cherish and its all because I am staying sober one day at a time no matter what problems I may encounter in my life. You can too! Really no bull it's all about having a little faith in your higher power and in your self. You are worth it6! No matter what you have done or are doing right now, you are a worthwhile person worthy of another chance. I have post Hotlines to AA NA and others on this website. Please look at my previous post and look for them. Maybe you will even read a little about your life and see you are definitely not alone. I've been there!! So I know without a doubt you can make it out of the darkness and into the light. It's all about taking that first crucial step and staying sober no matter life!