Hi, I was almost done blogging and again I touched something accidentally and "Puff" it was gone so this is gonna be short. Just wanted to share with you an important event I experienced in the 80's. besides the birth of my first child it was the most significant event. My first time being incarcerated.. I don't really remember all the specifics surrounding the cause of the incarceration and really it's not important at this point. We have already established I did not make stellar choices for myself or my children at this time in my life. I remember it was around valentines day because my heart ached for my one true love...yep you guessed it my funny little valentine(my child Nicole) and I wrote her this from within the walls of a jail cell.
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Hello my funny little valentine, I pray to God you are doing fine...and I want you to know that I didn't choose to go... and the sun, it just isn't as bright since you left my sight...and I miss you so much, how I long for your touch...and though your not here with me , your smiling face I do see every night as I sleep, every day as I weep...and I hope that today to the Lord you will pray ..
For mommy needs you so on this Valentines Day!!

Of course, as I look at it now I realize it was a selfish poem.. I should of never let her know I was weeping on a daily basis and that I was so distressed. Although it's true I didn't choose to leave her, I did choose to commit an illegal act that took me away from her and that was so selfish!!! She needed me, she was just a child! And I put it all on her by saying I needed her so much..but God help me I did and still do..
Of course not in the same selfish way, but I love her and she will always be my dearest love my other self... but that's another poem and another decade!
Nite, and remember it's all about change and staying sober no matter life!! If I could do it, believe me so can you! I promise, it can be done...Just take that first step and believe...I do!!!